There's poetry of a sort in this utter shambles
FOR it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' 'chuck him out the brute!' But it's 'Saviour of 'is country' when the guns begin to shoot. A wry smile might have crossed the lips of the red-coated Tommy Atkins in Rudyard Kipling's 1892 poem had he witnessed lines of his successors arriving, Afghan dust freshly laundered from their desert camouflage, to save the nation's Olympic blushes.
Maybe Kipling could have managed another verse for the next time lugubrious bean counter Philip Hammond clicks his elegantly manicured fingers to summon 3,500 spare troops and answer comes there none; because he's sacked them all.
Or even the BBC's Today programme when retired Lieutenant Colonel Trevor Philpott, at the moment the Olympic flame was heading out of Reading last week, thought he'd been invited to discuss his organisation Veterans for Change, which aims to prevent discarded servicemen and women dumped outside barrack gates to fend for themselves from landing in prison, mental hospital or worse.
One Army veteran trying to describe his prison experiences was cursorily dismissed because his mobile phone reception was scratchy and Philpott, a quietly spoken former Royal Marine, was cut off in mid-argument in favour of yet another report on financial chicanery. No plaster saints indeed.
Meanwhile the great unwashed have done a runner. The Commons shut up shop until September 3 and you'd never guess it's impossible to get past passport control at Heathrow, the M4's collapsing, arms and pharmaceutical companies are as bent as the banks, terrorists could be cruising baffling Olympic traffic lanes, and nominally neither Coalition nor Government would appear even vaguely apt.
The Cleggies' loony plans for creating a kind of non-league version of the Commons (what else to call third rate failed MPs guaranteed 15 years on easy street?) has been shown up for what it is; a cynical attempt to bring in the alternative voting we threw out two-to-one barely a year ago and blackmail us into giving these highly principled Lib Dems an eternal casting vote.
However, some humour does survive. Take Theresa May, whose mounting arithmetical problems suggest she could do with parroting some of 'nasty' Michael Gove's times tables, being ticked off by pantomime Dame Tessa 'What's a Mortgage?' Jowell, who's played Mother Earth to Blair's vanity Olympics from day one and saw the three billion costs triple without batting either of those Daffy Duck eye-lashes.
Heck, if someone accused Britain of being a banana republic we couldn't even offer them Fairtrade.
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Jul 23, 00:34
Does this fellow apart from sporting a guttage and beard actually offer an alternative to the rot? It must be nice to be paid upon hour to perform Devil's ad-vocation must it not?
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Jul 24, 16:41
It's a shame when a good dose of healthy cynicism goes unappreciated. With clueless nonentities of all political persuasion fondly imagining they are great statesmen, and very little attention given to the wishes of the electorate that made the mistake of swallowing their empty promises, a health four lace-holes of strategically placed satire is just about the only redress we have.
Apart from Billy Connolly's solution that "Anyone who actively seeks political power should automatically be barred from ever achieving it!" the only sensible way to return the country to competent government would seem to be a law that requires any would be MP to have held down a job outside politics, the legal profession or banking for at least 5 years before standing for election.
But hang on; that would increase the unemployable numbers by another few hundred
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Aug 16, 12:18
What makes a British Soldier?
Let me tell you what I think
And I will tell you,my intention
Is to cause a great big stink
A British Soldier is full of pride
When the chips are down, he's by your side
He fights your wars , protects your Games
He is known by a hundred names
One thing in common they have got
For the British public, they give a lot
They give their blood, their sweat, their tears
They try to overcome all their fears
And what do we give them in return?
It isn't the lousy pay they earn
Poor equipment, rotten houses
Separation from their spouses
Disciplined to the n'th degree
Just so that, you can be free
And when they leave they get no thanks
As they depart the British ranks
No, for just the opposite is true
If the British Public really knew
How our Vets are so let down
By our MPs , so overblown
MP's who pander, prance and preen
How many have worn the Army Green?
Few of them, would have the guts
Honestly, it drives me nuts
How do they reward our loyalty
They betray us, you and me
They're in the perks trough, up to their snout
Military Covenant? ,that means nowt!
C'mon people lets have some sport
Who are the people you'd deport?
Rapist, Murderer, Terrorist?
Few of them, make the list
No ,what the “snouts” in Parliament do
Is to say,lets go for the, “easy few”
For their the ones, that they can find
The rest are out of sight and mind
UKBA is a farce
The man who runs it,is an arse !
Wouldn't know his left from right
Probably never had to fight
What has happened to fair play?
Has it really had its day?
British people are supposed to be
Fair and wise, above all FREE
So c'mon all, please do your part
Sign this petition, for a start
And if we really are all free
Then please contact your MP
And let them know just how you feel
About those who fight , whilst they steal
Expenses, allowances , all the perks
What a stupid bunch of jerks !
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